When Parenting Meets Coaching
Last week, while driving my son to swimming lessons, he said, "I don’t want to go."
Not a huge shock, if you’ve spent any time with five-year-olds, you’ll know how quickly they tend to change their minds, my son is no exception.
Normally, I’d jump into reassurance mode. I’d start listing all the reasons why swimming is great: how much fun he usually has, how proud he felt last time, and so on. But just as I opened my mouth, a thought popped into my head: “What would a life coach say right now?”
I’m currently training to be one, and I realised this was the perfect opportunity to practice.
So instead of trying to convince him with mum-logic or persuasion, I tried something different: a simple visualisation exercise, guided by a few open-ended questions.
Here’s how it went:
Me: “Imagine you're on holiday. What country are you in?”
Son: “Greece!”
Me: “Nice! Now imagine there's a big, blue swimming pool with slides and floats and all the fun things you love.”
(I can now see a smile on his face through my rear-view mirror)
Me: “Picture yourself jumping in. There's a BIG splash, and you’re swimming confidently all by yourself. How would you feel?”
Son: “I’d feel good. Really, really good!”
Me: “Amazing! Now imagine another version. You’re at the pool, but you need to hold on to a float or have a grown-up next to you to help. How would you feel?”
Son: “Still kind of good... but not fun-good.”
Me: “So, when you go to swimming lessons, do you think they help you get closer to the first version, or the second?”
Son: “Closer to the first one!”
Me: “Would you like to go to swimming today?”
Son: “YES!!”
I was honestly amazed by how quickly his mindset shifted, not because I talked him into it, but because he saw it for himself. That’s the beauty of visualisation: it taps into intrinsic motivation, the kind that comes from within. He connected today’s decision with the future version of himself he wanted to become or the experience he wanted to have.
As a parent, that moment was a lightbulb. It made me so excited about how conversations with my children might evolve as I continue my coaching journey. I realised I get to equip my kids with tools to make conscious, aligned decisions that will stick with them as they grow and can be used throughout their whole lives.
Want to try a visualisation yourself?
Here’s a simple one:
Take a few deep breaths, get still, and close your eyes. Now imagine your perfect morning. Ask yourself:
Where are you waking up?
What time is it?
What’s the first thing you do?
What are you eating for breakfast?
What can you hear? Smell? Feel?
Who’s with you?
What are you most looking forward to today?
Once you’ve walked through it in your mind, take a moment to compare it with your current mornings. What’s different? Is there something small you could shift in your routine to bring a bit of that “ideal morning” into your real one?
Visualisation doesn’t need to be complicated at all. Sometimes, all it takes is a few questions to connect with what really matters. Let me know if you give it a go!