“You need to back yourself!”

This week, I had a call with a mentor. Just as we were wrapping up, they leaned closer to the camera, looked me straight in the eye, and said, loud and clear:

“Emma, you need to BACK YOURSELF!”

It was a hard truth but those words were exactly what I needed to hear.

What’s interesting is, I hadn’t once said during the call that I didn’t believe in myself or that something wasn’t possible. But as I reflected on our conversation, I realised there was something subtle in my language, my tone, my hesitations, my choice of words, that revealed a deeper truth: I wasn’t fully backing myself.

Even when we think we’re projecting confidence, the subconscious has a way of leaking out. And if we're not aware of it, those hidden doubts can quietly hold us back.

That call was a turning point for me. I sat down afterward and asked myself some honest questions:

• In what areas am I not backing myself?

• What limiting beliefs am I still holding onto?

• If I did fully believe in myself, how would I speak? What choices would I make? What would people see or hear when they interacted with me?

These aren’t questions that usually come up in conversation, but they’re so vital for our development. The truth is, many of us struggle with self-belief. And when we don't back ourselves, it shows, whether we intend it to or not.

But here's the good news: self-belief can be built. It starts with awareness, and from there, we can do the work to shift our mindset. At our most recent Kobey House Online Gathering, we explored a powerful framework for identifying and transforming limiting beliefs. It’s simple, practical, and a great starting point if you want to build a stronger inner foundation.

How to Shift Limiting Beliefs into Empowering Ones

1. Write your limiting belief in the first person.
Examples:

• “I’m not smart enough.”

• “I’m always late.”

• “I can’t lead a team.”

2. Rewrite it using positive language.
Remove words like can’t, don’t, or won’t and replace them with positive, supportive language.
Examples:

• “People will laugh at me” → “People will support me.”

• “I’m not smart enough” → “I am smart and capable.”

3. Use a bridging phrase when needed.
If your belief is based on something currently true (e.g., “I don’t know how to start a business”), flipping it directly will feel dishonest. That’s where a bridge belief comes in.

Examples:

• “Every day, I’m learning more about how to start a business.”

• “Every day, I’m becoming more confident in my ability to lead.”

This subtle shift helps your mind accept the new belief because it feels grounded in reality.

Once you’ve created your new, empowering belief, repeat it to yourself, especially when your old mindset tries to sneak back in. The more you reinforce the belief you want to hold, the more natural it becomes.

The most powerful internal resource we have is the belief that we are capable, worthy, and enough. So listen to your self-talk today. Pay attention. And when doubt shows up, choose to back yourself, because that’s where real transformation begins.