Do you like yourself?
When I asked someone this the other day, they looked a little taken aback.
It’s not a question we hear often, so the response was fair.
But maybe it’s one we should be asking ourselves, and each other, more.
Whether or not you truly like yourself shapes the way you show up in the world. And just to be clear, I don’t mean liking yourself in a smug, I’m better than everyone else kind of way. I’m talking about a grounded sense of self-assurance, understanding, acceptance, and peace with who you are.
The reality? Many of us aren’t sure if we do like ourselves. We speak about ourselves in ways we’d never speak about a friend; harsh, dismissive, even critical. And if that’s the tone we take with ourselves, it would be hard to genuinely like the person we’re living with every single day.
The good news is, learning to like yourself doesn’t need to be complicated.
I think it comes down to two things:
Knowing yourself
Accepting yourself
1. Knowing Yourself
Knowing yourself means understanding what you love, what you dislike, what brings you joy, what drains you, what excites you, what frustrates you, what you believe in.
This isn’t about locking yourself away for long, introspective walks (but if that’s your thing, go for it). You can get to know yourself in the company of others, too. Notice when you go along with something you didn’t really want to do. Why did you agree? What did you enjoy about the experience? What didn’t you enjoy?
With just a little reflection and intentional observation, you’ll start to see yourself more clearly and pretty quickly will have achieved step one, to know yourself.
2. Accepting Yourself
Accepting yourself means embracing the fact that you are not perfect, and that’s okay. It’s about allowing yourself to experience the discomfort of being aware of your flaws, not dismissing or avoiding them, but being aware of them. And knowing that you have the responsibility and the capacity to do something about them, if you choose to.
When you make mistakes (because you will), you don’t have to punish yourself. Instead, you can ask: What can I do to make this right? What can I do differently next time? Then you move on.
When you give yourself permission to be a whole, flawed, trying-your-best human, you begin to like the person you are.
Why It Matters
When you like yourself, you like others more, too. You stop projecting your insecurities onto them. You stop assuming the worst. You extend grace to others because you’ve finally extended it to yourself.
Liking yourself makes you braver. You try things you might have avoided. You experiment, explore, and step into your potential. Not because you’re sure you’ll succeed, but because you’re not terrified of failing.
You become your own biggest cheerleader.
And when that happens… who knows what might be possible with your one wonderful, brilliant life?